So I really haven’t posted anything about my weight in a while.  Okay, a long while.  I think the last time was before Christmas. One of the reasons I started this blog was to be accountable and to make more progress in my weight loss.  And while I did get into the low 180s, that’s where I stalled out. Honestly, I don’t know why I have such a hard time getting over that 180 hump and into the 170s.

So, the confession.  I went back up to the 190s.  191, in fact.  You may have seen it in my pudgier face.  I know I can.  The slippery slope started sometime before Christmas and it just kept getting worse. I was really ashamed.  I didn’t stop running or exercising. Most days I never have a problem with running or exercising.  I may not want to do it, but I usually get it done anyway.  For me it’s always the food.  The damn food.  I use it for company when I’m bored and lonely, which happens a lot.  I am getting better at managing those feelings and not turning to food, but back slide every once in a while. 

So what’s the point of this post?  To confess and lay it out all out there.  I’ve felt like I haven’t been totally honest with all of you.  Everyone is out there achieving PRs and lifting heavy things and losing all kinds of weight and I kind of felt like a fraud.  I feel bad about that and I want to try and turn things around.  I finally said enough is enough and I’ve been adjusting my eating and making sure I have a calorie deficit each day with exercise and food.

I have to say I did stop the downward spiral (or upward spiral) at 191.  In the past I would have kept going up and up.  So there is that.

This morning I got on the scale and I weigh 187.8. I’m going to sign up and do the 10k at Run for the Roses on April 1, which is 6 weeks away.  I want to be 180 when I do that race, and it’s totally doable.  After that we’ll deal with the 170s, but no point in dealing with that until I get close to it. 

So I’m laying it all out there and confessing and getting a fresh start on the weight loss journey.  I have a marathon I want to run, so I really need to get some weight off and by coming clean I feel like I’m making a fresh start.